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Reframing Negative Self Talk: A Guide for High Schoolers

Reframing Negative Self-Talk: A Guide for High Schoolers


High school can be an exciting and challenging time in our lives. We’re navigating a maze of academics, social relationships, extracurricular activities, and personal growth. While these experiences can be fulfilling, they, and the overwhelm they cause, can also lead to negative self-talk, which can undermine our self-esteem and hinder our progress. Left unchecked, in can turn to worry about what others are thinking about us, something of which we have no control. In this blog post, we will explore the concept of reframing negative self-talk and provide practical strategies for high schoolers to boost their self-confidence and resilience.

Understanding Negative Self-Talk

Negative self-talk is the inner dialogue we have with ourselves, often fueled by self-doubt, fear, or criticism. It’s that little voice in your head that says, “I can’t do this,” “I’m not good enough,” or “I always mess things up.” We all experience it from time to time, but it’s essential to recognize that it’s not the truth. They are simply thoughts.

  1. Identify Your Negative Self-Talk Patterns

The first step in reframing negative self-talk is to become aware of it. Pay attention to the negative thoughts that pop up in your mind when you’re facing challenges or feeling stressed and accept them. Write them down or simply acknowledge them when they arise. By recognizing your thought patterns, and accepting them as normal (albeit not beneficial) you can start taking control of them and shifting to a more positive focus.

  1. Challenge Negative Thoughts

Once you’ve identified your negative self-talk, ask yourself whether these thoughts are rational. Are they based on facts that occur all the time, or are they simply one time occurrences or assumptions? Challenge these thoughts by looking for evidence that supports or contradicts them. For instance, if you think, “I’m terrible at math,” recall moments when you successfully solved math problems or consider the progress you’ve made over time.

  1. Replace Negative Thoughts with Positive Affirmations

Reframing negative self-talk involves replacing harmful thoughts with positive affirmations. For example, instead of saying, “I’m not smart enough to pass this test,” tell yourself, “I can study and prepare for this test, and I have the ability to succeed.” These affirmations can help boost your self-confidence and motivate you to take action.

  1. Practice Self-Compassion

High schoolers often put immense pressure on themselves to excel in every aspect of their lives. It’s important to remember that no one is perfect, both you and others have strengths, and it’s okay to make mistakes. Practice self-compassion by treating yourself with kindness, especially when you stumble or face setbacks. Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend who needs support.

  1. Seek Support

Talking to someone you trust, can be incredibly helpful. Sometimes, a different point of view can help you see your challenges in a new light. Seek support from someone who will help you regain a balanced, self-loving, growth-oriented perspective, rather than someone who will simply pity you and perpetuate mutual insecurities in your connection. Then commit to practicing a positive, growth conversation about yourself.

  1. Set Realistic Goals

Reframe your negative self-talk by setting realistic and achievable goals and being patient with your progress. Break down your larger objectives into smaller, manageable steps. When you take care of your self-care needs and responsibilities by achieving consistent smaller goals, you’ll be more present, boost your self-esteem and develop a sense of accomplishment.


Reframing negative self-talk is a crucial skill for high schoolers and people of all ages. By recognizing, challenging, and replacing negative thoughts, you can build self-confidence, improve resilience, and ultimately lead a more positive and fulfilling life. Remember, you have the power to change your inner dialogue and shape your self-esteem. High school is a time of growth and self-discovery, so be kind to yourself, and watch as your potential unfolds.