Worrying about others takes away your peace of mind and ability to be effective in supporting other’s growth. Here is how to stop worrying about your college student, or anyone for that matter.
I used to worry about my kids. I would see their challenges and then worry they wouldn’t do what it takes to grow through them.
My conversations and actions – backed with worry – caused subtle or overt push-back. Then I would feel powerless, frustrated and scared thinking, “There is nothing I can do to help them.”
This cycle would feed my worry, making it even more intense. “Did I do something to hurt them? Am I making it worse?”
Then I did a deep study into emotions, relationships and how to affect positive change. I learned about influence and the power of my clear inner focus. Now, instead of spending thought energy on worry, I steer my thoughts back to the solution and growth I would like to see. I spend dedicated time thinking about my young adult’s gifts and abilities, imagining them as who I knew they could and want to become. It don’t do it to change them. That is not my job. It is theirs.
I do it because it:
- gives me somewhere to go in my mind so I can stay out of worried thoughts (which feels great!)
- supports me in giving them the space they needed to grow
- strengthens my ability to respond to them in a supportive manner
- helps me see their growth and marvel in their becoming
- know I am playing my part in being the best influence I can be in their lives
Whenever I take time to do this, I am amazed at what happens next.
I recently interviewed a Millennial, Jessica Johnson, co-host of the popular Shi(f)t Happens Podcast. She tells her story of becoming, how she helped herself through college challenges and her parents’ important role.
Catch the conversation. I think you’ll be inspired.