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How to Stop Being Mean to Yourself and Still Be Effective

What if you could stop being mean to yourself and still be effective in completing your tasks and reaching your goals?


“Like tabasco, self-criticism can be a gift when used sparingly.*” – Patty Jackson

Many successful people get caught up in the self-criticism- sloth cycle. We get into the hurry, hurry, hurry, get it all done and get it all done well mode. This wears you out and sloth sets in. Instead of letting yourself recharge, because you value accomplishing, you become mean to yourself in your thoughts. “What is wrong with you? You are being lazy. You’re never going to get this stuff done. It doesn’t really matter, anyway.” The self-criticism seems to take on a life of its own and becomes intolerable. It can seem like the only way to shut it up is to get going again on the hamster wheel drive-mode again.

There is a better way, and self-criticism used in balance, as the gift it can be, is the key.

If self-criticism is overused it drives behavior that is backed with anger, aggression or criticism.

If it is underused, sloth-like thoughts gain momentum. “Oh well, it doesn’t really matter.”

When you catch yourself being less-than your best self, you can use self-criticism as a gift.

Here is how:

  1.  Pull out a strong, “Alright, stop it now! You can do better than this,” to yourself.
  2. Take a deep breath and a step back from all the tasks in front of you.
  3. Think about the short term tasks and how they will fit into the long term goals.
  4. Give yourself a minute to remember why your long term goals matter.
  5. Make a plan on how you can move forward.
  6. Back off of self-criticism’s strong inward push. Instead, let your revitalized inner clarity and excitement about your goals inspire you to ideas on how you can enjoy your tasks at hand knowing they are a necessary component to building the life you want to live.

 Whether you are overusing self-criticism or stuck in sloth mode, you can use the same steps above to steer yourself back into balance.

 If you are looking for a burst of balance and clarity, email us for a free consultation.




*These ideas were inspired by a client’s experience and wisdom. We all have the amazing propensity to change once we become aware of what we are doing, accept it as normal human stuff and then start listening to our wisdom. Many clients have given us permission to share their successes without names or details as to who they are. Details are always changed to maintain complete anonymity. (Sometimes the stories are our own.)